Oh Alice Cooper, is there anything you can’t do? You created, then revolutionized shock rock, hung out with Elvis, kicked booze and drugs and turned your golf hobby into an art form, even writing a book about it. And now you are selflessly using your wealth of experience for good and not evil, helping to guide a younger generation grappling with Life’s Big Issues™.
Well, sort of. In a video clip made for FuseTV, Cooper took time out of his busy touring schedule to dole out “Rockstar Advice” for fans who submitted questions on a variety of topics, from living in the big city to what someone should do, post-college. The answers are equal parts silly and sage.
As Ultimate Classic Rock notes, several people asked for help with their relationship. Cooper, who has been married to the same woman for 36 years - ballerina instructor/choreographer Sheryl Goddard, who Cooper claims he has never cheated on - was more than happy to oblige. To a man who was in a long-distance relationship, he said, “It’s called ‘the phone.’ It’s not called ‘taxts,’ OK?
“If you [have] a girlfriend, you call her. It’s more personal to call her…Texting is not sexy. It’s mechanical. You might as well be in love with the computer. Keep it romantic…Women love romance. Romance leads to sex. But get married first.”
Smart. But also goofy: another man asked if he should accept that his girlfriend wanted to stop log! shaving her legs. Cooper retorts: “I think it’s when she wants to stop shaving your legs is when you’re in trouble. Your legs are more important than her legs.”